Four Loko

As I watch the drama surrounding the banning of these beloved drinks unfold, I cannot help but be tempted to attempt to bring my dreams of being an outlaw in one of the truest, most archetypal fashions, to life.

After a quick Google search for “four loko”, I found this


which, switching each respective can’s roles, of course, would be a fantastic way to disguise the cans so I can sell them to kids like this


and this

because they are the kinds of kids I trust would pay; not necessarily because they’re committed to these drinks, as another for sure will pop up soon enough, but, because they’ll get off on the fact that they’re doing something illegal right before blacking out until the next afternoon. Also because I believe in ~the people’s right to make bad decisions.

Thinking about it, disguising each individual can the entire time I’m selling these might be a little superfluous, so, I think selling them by the case and using Arizona packaging might be fine… then again… what do you think?

Not gonna lie, maybe I’ve just been watching too much ‘Boardwalk Empire’. But the swag is irresitable.

And by swag, I probaby mean Michael Pitt. And one cannot mention Michael Pitt without acknowledging the peerless pair of lips upon his absolutely divine face

because oh, my.


What was I talking about?

- xo.